The Troll’s Male Sack: Space Vibrator!

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Posted by The Troll | Posted in News | Posted on 27-09-2011

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“SpaceCase” writes: Dear Troll, Love the site! But there is a disturbing lack of sci-fi related posts! The Star Wars trailer rules! Gotta get that one for sure. But, more real sci-fi please. For instance, do you ever think there will be a real space porn?

Well, SC, I’m sure in time we will have what you seek, in fact — we may be closer than you think! Check out this recent press release… one small step for mankind, one giant leap for sex in space! heheheheeeeee!!!

On October 8, 2011, online sex toy sales leader SexToy.com, will lead a team to launch the first adult sex toy vibrator into space. The space craft will be equipped with a still and video camera that will send images of its best selling vibrator back to Earth.

Through rigorous experimentation, the group has developed a way to send the vibrator into space. The toy will have to withstand temperatures of -75 degrees Fahrenheit and conditions 10 times over normal cosmic radiation. The vibrator will be fully exposed to the elements, reach an altitude of 100,000 feet (~20miles) above the Earth’s atmosphere, which is three times the cruising altitude of a typical jet plane. The team hopes to retrieve the vibrator in fully functioning order.

SexToy Dave, CEO of CNV.com Inc., says of his inspiration behind the project, “I have always been into firsts and that is how I made my money. I was one of the first on the web selling sex , first to have an adult affiliate program, the first to make three appearances on Bravo’s hit show Millionaire Matchmaker and now the first online adult business with a space program.”

The sex toy will be carried into space by a partially solar-powered, partially helium-filled balloon 8 feet wide, armed with a 1080p HD video camera, a 10MP still camera, two consumer cell phones running tracking software, and an experimental GPS unit. The balloon and vibrating bullet will travel through Jet stream winds of up to 100 miles per hour for 1-3 hours and achieve a total distance of up to 100 miles. Sextoy.com will publish the photos on its new blog, “Chew On This” at www.sextoy.com/blog.

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