The Troll’s Male Sack: Jerkin’

Fan O’ The Site “Carlson” writes:

Hi, Troll. I jerk off a lot. A LOT. So is that bad?

On the contrary, Carl! — Masturbation keeps you healthy! It stimulates your immune system (Source: Human Reproduction, Vol 12, 2200-2207, Copyright 1997 by Oxford University Press)

Recent research study suggests playing with your longfellow may decrease incidence of prostate cancer. (Leitzmann MF, Platz EA, Stampfer MJ, Willett WC, Giovannucci E. Ejaculation frequency and subsequent risk of prostate cancer. JAMA. 2004 Apr 7:291 (13): 1578-86.)

Pumping your manmeat also releases tension and stress. Masturbation can lower blood pressure in stressful situations.

Also, unclogging your pipes releases sexual tension without any of that pesky performance anxiety. There is also no need for a condom and embarrassing drug store checkouts. No need to worry if you’re too small, or if you will last long enough, or if she will notice your cock just looks kinda strange in general.

Rubbing one out also fights depression because it releases the mood–enhancing substances serotonin and dopamine, and that’s better than any prescription drug method, that’s for sure! (F.C. Denison, V.E. Grant, A.A. Calder, and R. W. Kelly Seminal plasma components stimulate interleukin-8 and interleukin-10 release. Mol Hum. Reprod., March 1, 1999; 5(3): 220-226)

And the best reason? No chance of picking up any nasty STD or, even worse – knocking someone up. No need to have to get ride of some chick you don’t even know the name of after you cum. Next morning calls to ignore. And again, no child support requests.

So why are you even still here reading this post? You should be enjoying your built-in ability to be a healthy young man! Now go on! Tug away!

By The Troll

Just one little troll who didn't wanna play with the others, just himself.

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