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The Troll’s Big Mail Sack: Candy

Remember readers, you can always click on the “About The Troll” button at the top of the page and send me questions, concerns and any other queries on your mind. A welcomed female reader who calls herself “SweetTooth” did just that! She wrote:

“Dear Troll, I am a straight girl who loves your site. So thanks for turning me on. I think, while there is something for every sexual taste, I’d like to see something a little less hardcore for once, maybe something hot but sweet, if you know what I mean? Thanks again and keep up your winning combination of sex and comedy! XOXO”

Thank you SweetTooth! I enjoy knowing I provide “Something for every sexual taste! But as to try and satisfy yours specifically… let’s see, something not as hardcore… but still hot… something sweet… hmmmm…. AHH! yes! I have just the thing! Perhaps you should continue reading this article after the jump, for I have provided one of the most mind-blowing mainstream films you will ever lay eyes upon. CANDY. See the trailer for the 1968 masterpiece below and watch the film, which is currently out of print on DVD, after the jump! You have not lived until you have seen Ringo Starr playing a Mexican who basically rapes sweet innocent “Candy” while a drunk Richard Burton has sex with a mannequin across the room! Actually, come to think of it, they all kind of rape her… this Candy is going to taste great! You’ll see! heheheeee!!!….

Celebs News

Michelle Williams Shows How She Stays Afloat In Dawson’s Creek!

Seems like a few of the residents of “Capeside” have made quite the resurgence on the web lately. First we had good ol’ Dawson Leary’s humorous James Van Der Memes. Not to be outdone, actress Michelle Williams lets Heath Ledger’s two former favorite pillows air out on the set of the film “Incendiary.”

Source = Hollywood Skin Company


Anne Hathaway Tit

Anne Hathaway bares a tit in her new movie “Love & Other Drugs.” While I do not find this person hot, it’s always fun to see celebrity tit.

Celebs News Videos


STOYA has been one of this Troll’s faves ever since she burst onto the scene two years ago. I’ve been enjoying her antics in the mega-awesome Digital Playground productions he has appeared in ever since. But Stoya is actually even more awesome than she appears. Just take a look at this clip, where she outs herself as an Apple fangirl…

I don’t know about you, but Steve Jobs and the folks up in Cupertino should take note of what Fleshlight is doing and take it to the next level. Until then, there’s always the Fleshlight “Alien.”

For more Stoya, check out!

Celebs Videos

Watch Hitler Fuck The Shit Out of Someone

This video is not doing what it’s supposed to be doing. Watching some hot ass babe get pounded by some other dude is hot… and revealing that it’s Hitler doing the fucking, well, that’s just cool. Here’s hoping Hitler branches out into some bukkake videos, maybe a gangbang audition, or even goes all out and engages in some snuff porn. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Celebs Mailbox Spoof / Funny Videos

The Troll’s Male Sack: Chicks

From a reader named Jimbo: “Troll — help me. I can’t figure girls out. They’re so hot but sometimes they are crazy and I think I should just stay home and jerk off. What to do?!”

Girls are crazy creatures, both trolls and humans alike. I would tell you to “just let the chicks fall where they may” — But don’t listen to me, Jimbo. Mr. T can explain it much better than I can to both you and Gary Coleman…

Amateur blonde Blowjob Celebs Videos

The Troll Spends One Night In Paris!

I don’t care what you think of Paris Hilton. I love her and I’ll tell you why. She is the shape of a girl. As a troll who is newly out of the sheltered woods, I have been witnessing many forms of the female humans roaming around these days I must say, I am not impressed.

I’m not just talking about the regular girls walking around the street everyday. No, no — I am referring to many of your so called “Sex Symbols.” Ladies like that giant-assed Kim Kardashian. Seriously? Guys get it up to this? Her name alone sounds like a terrible Star Trek alien race. Don’t you men take one look at that ass and imagine the vast amount of watery class 4 diarrhea that must come out of it? How can this arouse them? It’s so big there’s no way you’re telling me she only takes one dump a day. That’s a three-dump-a-day lady right there. And ya know what that means, doncha? That means there’s NO way she wipes well. If you know you’re just going to be right back on the bowl in an hour or so you’re bound to cut corners. Maybe you like that. I don’t know. I’m so confused.

And that unfortunately-moled piece of dark meat that everyone seems to like…what’s her name? The one from The Spirit? Oh yes — Eva Mendes. This confused my Troll mind ever so much. How can human men like someone with a mole that size? How do you kiss a lady who looks like she has thin peach fuzz on her upper lip?

And speaking of manish, don’t even get me started on that Rosario Dawson. She looks like this boy I once knew named David. I’m not saying all of these ladies are not lovely people. They may be very nice. I just am unable to understand their place as humans who would be considered “hot.” Which brings me to Paris.

Sure, you may have reasons for not liking her for one reason or another — and even I will never forgive her for the death of her natural perky tits — but honestly – who cares? Harrison Ford is the biggest dullard in the world in real life but that never stopped all of us from loving his characters. Paris is like the female Ford. This is the shape a human lady is supposed to come in, and this is why I am reaching back into the Troll archives to present the entire “One Night In Paris” sex tape from years back.

I love what a horrible lay she is — makes me get off all the sooner, knowing how she would just lay there and let you do as you wish, her mind on more important things like recording her next album and picking new BFF’s. Enjoy!

Celebs Videos

Rebecca Gayheart, Eric Dane & Kari Ann Peniche’s Sex Tape


The latest celebrity sex tape: Rebecca Gayheart, Grey’s Anatomy’s Eric Dane and Kari Ann Peniche. I don’t watch Grey’s, have no idea who Peniche is and know Gayheart’s bug eyes prevented her from being hot back in her Urban Legend / Jawbreaker days – I couldn’t imagine the mess she’s become a decade later. Still, we all might as well check this out…

Courtesy of Fleshbot.

Brunette Celebs Ebony Interracial Spoof / Funny Videos Youngins

Denise Huxtable Fucks Well


I’d like to being this new month the same way I began the last, with a bit more of the Cosby’s!

While most of you enjoyed last week’s Cosby clip, many of you just want to drop a load. I realize this, my friends, and it is why I have taken the liberty of uploading another clip from “Not The Cosby’s XXX” – this time featuring young Denise Huxtable (Misty Stone) frolicking in her room with a friend who has come all the way from Brooklyn to see her while the rest of the family is out on the town.

But be careful, Denise! You know your dad has a way of popping up when you least expect him to!…



If you want the real thing, Lisa Bonet in Angel Heart after the jump!…

Celebs Videos

Happy 23rd, Howard!

Even though I am a troll, I have many friends of other species. One of them is Howard the Duck. I became friends with him after the events of his film, when he began to fuck Beverly on a nightly basis. Of course, I was there watching – just like Jennings! Needless to say, one night I got caught, but was invited in! Thus began a friendship that has lasted for over two decades!

It all started 23 years ago today with this…

Now that you’re all worked up, here’s something for you to make All The Right Moves…

Amateur Celebs Masturbation Public Videos

Porn Star Idol Auditions

I realized, after a whole month, Ron Jeremy hasn’t shown shown his face on this site as of yet. That did not seem right. Well, here we have Porn Star Idol auditions, where The Hedgehog is one of the judges…

Ya know what I think? I think that if Paula Abdul does not come back to American Idol next season, the producers should immediately sign Mr. Jeremy to fill Ms. Abdul’s chair. I mean, honestly – think about it. Best Idol ratings ever.

Celebs Videos

Silk Spectre’s Tits

Here’s a clip with the stars of Superman Returns, Star Trek and Watchmen…

Amateur Blowjob Celebs Videos

Live From Comic-Con: Spidey Vs. Wonder Woman

If anyone out there still is under the impression that San Deigo Comic-Con is only for nerds who don’t have sex, think again! It’s for nerds who do have sex! And although the mask never comes off to reveal Spidey’s true identity, the same cannot be said for his pecker!

Brunette Celebs Handjob Masturbation Spoof / Funny Videos

Exclusive Clip From ‘Not The Cosby’s XXX’


On my first day on the internet earlier this month, I suddenly felt like I had the world at my fingertips. I could instantly browse any subject I wanted and learn all there was to know about a world I never knew when I was confined to my magical Troll Land deep within the woods.

And so, obviously, I searched for Cosby Show Porn. Lo and behold, it not only existed but was a fantastic film at that – blending hot sex with a great Bill Cosby! Ahh…but one thing would have made it better and that would have been an honest to goodness sexual encounter between Cliff and Clare Huxstable. Still, I cannot complain. At least we get the magical moment that cums in the middle of these two scenes of important exposition…



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Sasha Grey Is A Dirty Cunt!

I’ll be the first one to say that Sasha Grey is a little cunt. And I don’t mean that in a good way. A boring, dull, dead-eyed dummy who considers herself above the very career that put her on the map.

But, that said, this Troll can’t resist a girl as skinny as “Marina Ann Hantzis” here getting double stuffed while taking a few others down her throat…and yet it’s just still not enough for this bitch.

“I want two in my mouth!”

“Fuck, gimme those balls – I want it all!!”

And with the last half being entirely devoted to her holding the cum of 1000 men in her mouth, I guess I finally figured out why Sasha is as popular with the kids these days as she is.

I also figured out that I need to invest in some new undies! Heheheeee!