From a reader named Jimbo: “Troll — help me. I can’t figure girls out. They’re so hot but sometimes they are crazy and I think I should just stay home and jerk off. What to do?!”
Girls are crazy creatures, both trolls and humans alike. I would tell you to “just let the chicks fall where they may” — But don’t listen to me, Jimbo. Mr. T can explain it much better than I can to both you and Gary Coleman…
Maurice writes: “Hey, Troll – How come there are so many dickheads in the world? They suck.”
As I have said before, dickheads are a very valuable part of society. Very, VERY valuable. It’s true! You know that asshole that wouldn’t let you in when you were trying to change lanes before the road ended? You know that guy. Yeah, well, he has a daughter. And guess what? He’s ten times as much as a dickhead to her than he was to you on the highway earlier today. Every day. For eighteen years he’ll be a dickhead to that poor girl. Until the day after her eighteenth birthday, when she’s so used to being driven mad by that dickhead that she will no doubt lash out and, ironically, find the nearest head of an actual dick!
So my friend, the next time some mother fucking asshole cocksucker douche-faced fucker slams a door in your face rather than hold it for you, be thankful. Be very, very thankful that he is on his way home readying what will be on this site eighteen years from today!
Here’s the blonde-haired product of some schmuck who never held doors for anyone back in 1991…
11:07 is now my favorite time ever. It really is the very best time ever.
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