Yes, all good. Maybe even better than Tim Burton’s. But in no way shape or form even close to what lies after the jump…

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Dear Troll, I love the latest crop of articles. You seem to have more time on your hands these days…. which begs the question; do you have any friends?

Well, good sir, while I prefer to travel on my adventures and quests solo – it certainly does not mean I do not remain in touch with old pals from the forests. In fact, it appears as though my old friend Tokolo is at it again…

Children at a primary school in Botswana have become victims to an alleged hairy sex dwarf.

Parents of hundreds of children attending the Kalamare Primary School in Botswana have kept their kids home from school until the attacker has been caught. Over the past 12 months several children have been molested, sometimes repeatedly by an unknown assailant described as a short, hairy creature with cat-like features and long claws.

Following an attack the victims, all aged around 12 years old, are found in a comatose state which they remain in for up to four hours. A physical examination revealed that some of the children had also been sexually abused by their attacker.

Word quickly spread amongst the villagers that the mystery child rapist was a tokoloshe, a hairy dwarf zombie created by witches for sexual purposes by removing the eyes and tongue of a human corpse. According to African legend the corpse then shrinks, grows hair and is reanimated to life to act as the witch’s familiar and sex toy.

A tokoloshe cannot be seen by adults, it carries a magic pebble in it’s mouth to make it invisible to grown ups. It is also said to have an incredibly large penis which it slings over it’s shoulder.

Three local women explained to Botswana newspaper The Voice what had happened to their children.

“My child will not go back to that school until that evil thing has left. She has had enough,” one mother said.

“She was the first to be molested and has suffered repeated attacks since then. On the first day a certain schoolboy ran into my yard crying saying the teachers had sent him to summon me. He tearfully told me that my child had fallen and fainted at school and some teachers had taken her to the clinic and wanted me to bring her cards to the clinic. When I got there my child was lying in a seemingly lifeless state with her eyes wide open and whitish thick saliva dribbling from the corners of her mouth. It was a pitiful and painful sight,” she continued.

Another woman told how she knew it was a tokoloshe carrying out the attacks.

“My child who is 12 and in standard five was attacked last month while in class. I took her to the New Good Shepherd Church where the prophets told me the thing that had attacked my child is a tokoloshe.”

One woman was told that her little sister had been raped by the mystery beast.

“The nurses told me there was evidence of sexual activity and I asked her if she had a boyfriend. She replied in the negative and they gave her vagina cleansing tablets. I understand they have prescribed them to others who have been attacked as well,” she said.

Residents have expressed anger and frustration that their village Chief has not taken the matter seriously.

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‘Til then, take some time to watch all of my favorite film of ALL TIME. Seriously — forget AVATAR, this is the real movie that changed films as we know it!

Enjoy, and happy whoreydays, from your Troll!!!!!! Heheeee!!!

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Thanks to The Alabaster for this edition of “Peeps From The Peeps” !

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This letter brought a certain video to mind. And it answers your question in a very easy way – if you are a young lady attending a university and you need a job, then don’t do anything except talk to older men you don’t know! Chances are they have many hundred dollar bills they’d love to shower over you. Just like Madison here, for example…

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Here’s TV’s Alan Thicke to sort out all these feelings…

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No matter! Now, thanks to this clip – I can finally witness what I have longed to see for many years…and so can you! Heheheheheeheeeeeeeeeee!!!!

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