Droid Users Are Sluts

No, we’re not talking about Luke Skywalker or anything like that. We’re talking about the girl with that Android smartphone in her purse — now wait just a second before you make your snarky comments iPhone users… Droid users are most likely to have sex on the first date according to a survey reported by The Consumerist.

“Guys and girls with Android phones tend to get it on earlier in a relationship, while BlackBerry users are more reserved, according to a survey of users in Canada that seems to confirm some stereotypes about the various smartphones. Consumerist summed up the results, initially reported by the Toronto Star:

They found that 62% of Android users said they’ve had sex on the first date, whereas 57% of iPhone users said the same, and only 48% of those with a BlackBerry. Not only are Androiders more likely to go home with you on that first date, 55% said they’re likely to have one-night stands in general and be more active overall on dating website —72% of them have visited one, and only 58% of iPhoners and 50% of BlackBerryites have done the same. We are noticing a trend. But if you want someone to woo you in the cubicles at work, 25% of single iPhone people have had an office romance in the last five years. They’re also going to call you after only one day after a date, whereas Android and BlackBerry owners will hold out for two or three dates before checking in.”


Do I Have The Clap? There’s An App For That!

British health officials are hard at work on a new app that will allow users to pee into their cell phones and find out within minutes if they have an STD.

Doctors and technology experts are developing small devices, similar to pregnancy testing kits, that will tell someone quickly and privately if they have caught an infection through sexual contact. People who suspect they have been infected will be able to put urine or saliva on to a computer chip about the size of a USB chip, plug it into their phone or computer and receive a diagnosis within minutes, telling them which, if any, sexually transmitted infection they have.

TROLL THOUGHTS: I have no thoughts on this piece of news. However, did you hear about the guy who had too much phone sex? He got hearing aids. Heeheeheeehoohoooo!!!!

For more info on this most amazing app, click HERE!

Mailbox News

The Troll’s Big Mail Sack: iPhones

Dear Troll,
I just got the new iPhone 4 and it is the best thing available to buy in the history of the planet. I love it so much I wish I could marry it. I love it more than I could ever love another human being. Is this wrong? — bergitchcock

Well, Bergitch, you are not alone. And while it may seem you’re close to having actual sex with your lovable device, just relax – REAL sex with a live girl is not far away, according to a recent report…

According to 11 million plus images indexed by users of dating site OK Cupid, iPhone users get laid twice as often as Android users. Check out the stats HERE!