SexualTroll.com

17 year-old Jimmy writes, “Dear Troll, I am in big trouble because my friend sent me pictures on my iPhone of his GF nude on Twinkle. Problem is – she’s too young! What to do!?”

Well, Jimmy, I understand that sexting has been quite popular among the teen humans. Sometimes, when I am hiding behind a tree that is strategically placed within view of a young teenage female, I often observe them with their smart input touchy type device and move in for a close look. And I can report to you here firsthand that nine times out of ten the little sweet innocent looking thing is sending a picture of her in her bathroom with her device pointed toward the mirror in nothing but her skivvies.

Yes, Fantastic times we are living in, indeed…but I would suggest deleting the pictures as soon as possible and sticking with the safer material I dig up for your pleasure. So now, Jimmy, I invite you to pretend you are on the other end of that text…that the little horny nymph just sent YOU that pic – and use these fantastic images to get off in a virtual sexting session – TROLL STYLE! And don’t stop there…ya know that phone she sent you the pics with? Just wait until you see what she does with it after she hits send! Heeeheeeeeheheheheeee!

Just another service brought to you by your pal, the good ‘ol S.T.

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Maurice writes: “Hey, Troll – How come there are so many dickheads in the world? They suck.”

As I have said before, dickheads are a very valuable part of society. Very, VERY valuable. It’s true! You know that asshole that wouldn’t let you in when you were trying to change lanes before the road ended? You know that guy. Yeah, well, he has a daughter. And guess what? He’s ten times as much as a dickhead to her than he was to you on the highway earlier today. Every day. For eighteen years he’ll be a dickhead to that poor girl. Until the day after her eighteenth birthday, when she’s so used to being driven mad by that dickhead that she will no doubt lash out and, ironically, find the nearest head of an actual dick!

So my friend, the next time some mother fucking asshole cocksucker douche-faced fucker slams a door in your face rather than hold it for you, be thankful. Be very, very thankful that he is on his way home readying what will be on this site eighteen years from today!

Here’s the blonde-haired product of some schmuck who never held doors for anyone back in 1991…

11:07 is now my favorite time ever. It really is the very best time ever.

Another Dickhead Dad after the jump…

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One of my female readers writes:

“I know that you’re into the ladies, but I’m a big fan of Evan Stone, perhaps you could troll for a clip with Evan and a nice young lady that way we can both have a lucky charmed day? Sorry…I know that’s leprechauns…Trolls, Leprechauns, my bad my little friend. Keep UP the good work!”

Ohh it’s so lovely to know that the female humans enjoy my video offerings as well! Well, Female, Mr. Stone’s star turn as Captain Reynolds in Pirates and Pirates: Stagnetti’s Revenge even made me a fan! In honor of the awesomeness that is Evan Stone, we present a replay of the fantastic super bowl incident from last January – when Stone became the All-Star of that game!

Here’s what families around the world saw last January on their TV’s…

And here we have the master discussing his craft…

Read on for big news on Evan’s first national tour, “The Evan Stone Ladies Night Tour”…

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